My Mom, Birthdays, and Basketball Memories

Happy birhtday to my mom! She is 64 today - 20 years older than I am. We were reminiscing about Kentucky Basketball this week. It may mean nothing to you, but this is the 20th anniversary of "the shot" - the game winning shot by Christian Laettner which gave Duke the last second win over Kentucky in the NCAA tourney in March of 1992. I remember that night so clearly. We were all sitting in the living room of the house I grew up in in Kentucky. We were getting ready to celebrate another Kentucky win - until Laettner, with 2.1 seconds left, shot that nightmare shot. All these years later you can go to a UK game and see "I Still Hate Laettner" t-shirts. We haven't forgotten.

As we talked about that night my mom reminded Steve and I that she had just turned 44 - which is how old I will be soon! It was a strange thought to look back and see her then and look at myself now. She was so young! Man, I was so young!! I was pregnant with Victoria. Oh so long ago and yet some days it seems like just yesterday. This year I can watch Kentucky basketball and the NCAA tourney with my mom and my daughter - who herself is almost 20. My brain cannot fathom this! We have all changed. It is a beautiful thing. My mom is a beautiful woman. I can only begin to describe her to you in a few short sentences. She is a servant who loves the Lord Jesus Christ first and foremost. She loves and serves her family faithfully and

self-sacrificially. She has taught me much about caring for others, community, cooking, being a wife, being a mom, and growing in my faith. She and Dad are both such blessings to me and my family. I am grateful!!

It was fun to talk about "the old days" and look back and remember how thankful I was for Mom then. But little did I know that the older I get the more thankful I would become for her - and for dad. I love them both! So, for Mom's birthday, let me celebrate her! I thank God for the gift He has given me.

I have shared this Wendell Berry quote before, but I will share it again. This expresses how I feel about my mom: "As I went about my work then as a young woman, and still now when I am old, Grandmam has been often close to me in my thoughts. And again I come to the difficulty of finding words. It is hard to say what it means to be at work and thinking of a person you loved and love still who did that same work before you and who taught you to do it. It is a comfort ever and always, like hearing the rhyme come when you are singing a song."

Growing Up and Becoming a Man...

Well, my youngest just turned 13. I am partly in denial. And partly, I am so proud of him I just can't stand it! God has blessed us with three amazing kiddos that are growing into three amazing adults. When I look at the girls I am just so excited for them and the things they are getting to do and learn and experience. They are becoming independent and growing into women who are smart and talented and in some ways wise beyond their years. Isaac is just beginning on that road himself.

Today he and I talked about all the "lectures" (his word, not mine!) that I have been giving him over the years. We have tried to prepare him to be an adult who isn't afraid of work and who knows that "the world doesn't revolve around you!". Steve and I try to help Him figure out how the gospel speaks to who he is in Christ and what his actions should be.

This week I have been struck by the magnitude of one of the battles quickly approaching: pornography. Yuck. All wives fear it. But mothers - I hadn't realized that I would fear it more as a mother than a wife! We have discussed it (insert thankfulness here for Steve - most of this falls on him!) and avoided certain video games and prepared him for conversations with friends. But even a quick trip to the grocery store reminds me of what is waiting for him right around the corner. And it makes me angry - but more so it makes me worry. What's a mom to do?

A mom is to have hope! The God who gave Isaac to us has also loved and cherished and fought for his heart way more than I have ever even dreamed I could. This is another opportunity for me to trust. Can I trust God in this moment? Absolutely! I am reminded of the quote "Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel" Obviously we are doing our best to prepare and equip him! We will continue to pray for him. But in the end I have to entrust my son to the

God who can protect him.

Equally important, I think, is the community of men who are walking alongside Isaac. Not only does he have a dad who is fighting for him and a grandpa who prays faithfully for him, but he also has a group of men who are looking out for him.

All these things give me hope. My heart is happy and hopeful! Here's to trusting that we as a community can send out young men who do not have to lose this battle!

A Mustache Cake

November is Victoria-palooza around here. And Victoria's current obsession is the mustache. Not sure how that happened - but it is an obsession shared by all her friends. So when they asked to have a surprise party for her at our house there was no question about the cake! One mustache cake coming up. But how does one make a mustache cake. I didn't find any directions. So, when the need arises for you to make your very own mustache cake, I got ya covered!!

Choose your favorite box cake mix. I chose yellow cake - Duncan Hines is my favortie yellow box cake. Yellow cake goes great with the chocolate ganache I planned to use to cover the cake. Bake your cake in two eight inch round cake pans as directed on the box. Before you begin, though, trace the outline of your cake pan twice. While your cake begins, play around with the type of mustache shape you would like to have - but it must be a shape available with the two circles of cake you will have. Here are picks of my shape.

I cut two of these and then put them together to make the shape I wanted. It meant that I had to trim one of the sides because the papers could overlap to make the shape, but obviously the cakes couldn't. When my cakes where baked and cooled, I laid the papers on top of them and used a knife to cut out the shapes. I then transferred them to a cookie sheet and made sure I was happy with the final shape. I ended up having three pieces of cake pushed togher - I accidently cut off alittle too much of one corner - so I used an additional piece to make up for my mistake. This isn't a problem because the ganache icing will cover all blemishes.

For the icing, I used a recipe for chocolate ganache. Not sure where I found it, but you can find many, many recipes online. Here is the one I used:

1 cup heavy cream, 2 Tbsp butter, 2 Tbsp sugar, 12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips

In a saucepan, bring first three ingredients to a boil. Pour this over chocolate chips and cover with plastic wrap (without stiring). Let it sit for 10 minutes. Mix until creamy. Pour over cake while still warm, but now hot.

Let it cool as directed and pour it over your cake. I didn't want my cake to be smooth so I used a spatula to make designs in the icing. I started in the center and made gentle arcs out toward the edges. I think you can see them in this picture.

I cooled the cake overnight on the cookie sheet. The next morning I was able to move it to a nice clean white cake cardboard. Then we chose yellow icing to add a Victoria saying. The results were pretty cool if I do say so myself!

For an added bonus I used the same mustache pattern on a new blank door mat for the front door. It was kinda fun! Check it out!

A Little Down Time...

Well, today was a lovely Sunday morning. We got an extra hour of sleep which is always good. Then at church we had a guest speaker which means that Steve and I got to sit next to each other! This is by far one of my favorite things. I have said before that sitting next to Steve during the gathering of the church is so encouraging to me - and VERY romantic. So thanks to the amazing John Ryan for being willing to drive all the way to another state in order to bring the Word (and a challenging message it was!) to our church and my family.

After a fun lunch with friends Steve and I settled in by the fireplace to relax. This, too, is a gift from John - no afternoon of tiredness for Steve who usually has to spend the day recovering from having spoken at Trailhead! So now what does a girl do? Most definitely NOT watch an episode of a zombie television series like some people we know! :) Shopping it is! I am really not much of a shopper. But the NCAA basketball season is here and I am in need of a few Kentucky Wildcats items! So for your viewing pleasure - these are my finds for the day. I know you will be jealous!!

This definitely needs to be on my front door as soon as possible:
And this picture is an example of the reason God did not give me an abundance of money. $55 - really?

Or wait, these are only $40!






And my kitchen will never be complete with this little number!! I would be a much better cook, don't you think?

I am one hundred percent sure that Steve will be so overjoyed to see this every morning when he leaves the house!

There is still so much more shopping to do. A true Wildcats fan must have that three piece bathroom set - of toilet seat cover and rug around the toilet and bath rug! And then there are the golf towels for my non-existant golf club set and the toaster that puts the letters U-K on your toast every morning... I could go on and on. Then, I look up and realize that I have wasted about two hours shopping for things that I will never buy... wow. But I am relaxed, toasty warm, and happy... and not one dime poorer than when I started!

Go Big Blue!

Abounding in Love

Okay - I am addicted to Twitter. I like it much better than Facebook. If you haven't tried it you most definitely should. All day every day there are people posting quotes. Some are hilarious and others are serious. This quote came across my phone a few days ago and I have been thinking about it ever since: "Always abounding in the work of the Lord" (1 Cor 15:58) Abounding. The opposite of foot-dragging. ~Ray Ortlund. Let's talk about that for a minute!

I have been having an ongoing conversation with a dear friend about loving our husbands. We both admit to struggling with this. There are days it is easy to be supportive and loving and kind and patient and the voice of affirmation. But there are seasons when this is very difficult... Our husbands require love and affirmation and respect even when we don't feel loved and affirmed and respected ourselves (the reverse is also true - but we aren't talking about us right now!). And in those times it feels like we just have to give and give and give. Here is how my friend puts it: "Marriage is not give and take. It is give. And give... I am not called to give my hubby affirmation and speak words of truth that he needs when I am receiving what makes me feel loved. I am called to do it. Period. Because Jesus gave and gave and gave. And still gives more. The same Spirit that was with Jesus has been sent to dwell in me and will give me strength and joy." This is where we come to abounding.

"Always abounding in the work of the Lord" (1 Cor 15:58) Abounding. The opposite of foot-dragging. I have perfected the art of serving my husband with a bad attitude and serious foot dragging. This is what happens when I work out of my own strength. I personally am seriously lacking in strength and seriously not lacking in self-pity and self-indulgance and even self-preservation. But God has called me to this work - the work of loving my husband. And the only way I can abound in this work is through the power of the Holy Spirit! Do you see the relief in that, friends? We can't love our husbands in our own strength. Period. We can only love - and give - out of the strength of the God of this Universe!! I don't have to muster up strength each morning to cook again or speak words of affirmation or serve patiently or be a joyful wife!! I just need to PRAY!! God will give me abounding strength. And He will cause me to be more dependent on Him daily. He will develop in me more love and more compassion and more strength to serve.

Just a footnote: Please don't hear me say that loving my husband (or you loving your husband) is ALWAYS work. It most definitely isn't. There is so much joy in this that my heart bursts just thinking about it. But we cannot deny as wives and even mothers that there are days when... well, when we don't have the mental, emotional, or physical strength to love our families. I hope you haven't experienced those days yet. But if, like me, you have - please know that you are not alone and that you can ABOUND in this work - NEVER through your own strength, but in the Strength of the One who has died in your place and who has given you His Spirit!

A Summer Review - stories and all!

Well, Summer is over and Fall is well underway. I have finally been able to breathe enough to think of all that God has done during the summer months. A while ago I talked a little about what I was expecting but now I want to share a few details of the summer. As always, God has blown me away with his goodness to me and my family. I feel His favor (and that is not favor above others, but his kindness and grace and mercy).

June saw Steve and I visiting Vail, Colorado for the Acts29 Retreat and Rocky Mountain National Park. What did God show me? It was actually life changing for me. I am the chief worrier. Not as in the best, but the very worst. My default mode is to fail to trust God and to try and figure things out on my own. God once again had to show me that He alone is in control. I love the

mountains but they do not love me. My blood pressure tends to climb with the altitude. After talking to the doctor (and being advised to find the nearest medical facility for "just in case") I

settled in to our "retreat" and began the worry spiral. But each time I worried and prayed about what to do, what course of action to take, God very clearly pointed out that my life was His - high blood pressure and all. (Mind you, I was taking medical advice... so this wasn't blindly ignoring serious signs!) God was quite simply, though, asking if I trusted Him. Repeatedly. And I do. But I wasn't acting like it. My fears had become all consuming... and they were ruining my vacation. But God in His goodness and graciousness, ripped away my fear and showed me the reality that He controls all things - and He alone chooses when I die and how I live. All He asks is for me to trust Him. We went on to have a beautiful, but sedated visit to one of the most beautiful places Steve and I have seen in a while - at 13,000 feet God's grace shone over me in the snow covered mountains. And I am grateful.

July brought a couple of family trips. I love spending Fourth of July with my parents in

Kentucky. They are such a blessing to me! Their heritage is visible in their children and grandchildren. Plus, Kentucky is a place that refreshes my soul! Later in the month we got to visit Chicago with the kiddos. It was the hottest three days of the summer. But we sweated it out together and had a blast. The Bean was a favorite and Isaac was happy to cross it off of his life's list of accomplishments! The next item on the list? A segway tour!

August was all about school. Esther started her junior year and Isaac began his 7th grade year. It also brought a first. Victoria moved out. God granted her a full scholarship to Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville - yes, that's right, it's in our town. It was the last place she looked at. But it became the place that she wanted to attend the most. Then God graciously allowed her to attend for free. So we moved her into a dorm and left her there! Talk about hard... I cried like a baby. As I was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Steve

I began talking to a woman who was going to leave her son and drive back to Texas! Texas - can you imagine that distance!?! She,

who was not crying, looked at me, who was obviously a basket case, and asked how far my drive home was. All I could say was... about two streets that way!! Not one of my prouder moments. But, in another sense, it was. Victoria has worked so hard to get to college and she is loving every minute of it! God has blessed her with a great community of friends to walk through life with AND I still get to see her on Sundays. God is good. I am so proud of all three of them!

September brought another trip for Steve and I. I feel very fortunate that, for now, I have not had to work. We have fun traveling together. However, leaving my kiddos has been one of the hardest things for me as a mom, a worrying mom. God continues to ask me if I trust Him. I do - and I pray that He helps me when I don't. Friends have lovingly stepped up to stay with Esther and Isaac as we have been gone. Mind you, they are two of the most self-sufficient kids on the face of the earth! But, they have been surrounded in our absence by people who love them - and they know that. Isaac is notorious for saying that it took a whole church of people to take care of him while I was away. And he was beaming as he said it. I am truly thankful!

Now, Summer is over and it is October. I am another year older... and still loving being in my 40's. I am even more grateful to God for the blessing of belonging to a place. As Wendell Berry would say, I know exactly where I am and I don't want to be any place else.

Control and Motherhood

Over the last few weeks I have been having an ongoing conversation with some friends about

relationships. Especially mother-daughter relationships. They can be so rewarding. But they can also be, in my opinion, some of the hardest to navigate. Esther and Victoria and I have spent years talking about ours. And one very obvious fact has emerged. I have been sharing it with them for years. I think y'all might also find it helpful.

The truth is, I sometimes would rather control them than love them. Now obviously, I love my daughters with my whole heart. And I am so proud of them. They are growing into amazing women who love the Lord and I rejoice in that! But they have had to walk through life with a mom who definitely struggles with control. And my sin of control has influenced their picture of the gospel.

Let me explain. As a mom, I want obedience on their part. It is essential that they learn how to submit to authority if they are going to be happy in life. The problem is that in my desire for them to submit, I convey that if they obey and submit to me, I will love and approve of them. This not only undermines their ability to submit, it undermines their understanding of God and the gospel.

I need to constantly remind them (and myself) of the gospel. And then model my parenting after the gospel. The gospel clearly states that I am loved in Christ - first and foremost. I was loved even as an enemy of God. I am loved before I even am able to love. As a believer I have God's approval based on what Christ has done for me. I am approved of before I ever obey. Then out of the love and approval of God the Father I am affirmed and accepted and want to be accountable to his authority. Look at this diagram (it is taken from the SALT series published by Victorious Christian Living International):

In my parenting and in my friendships I need to convey that I accept people not because of who they are or how they behave, but because I choose to love them. I am loved and accepted by God because of Christ, therefore I am accountable to his authority. I never want to present to someone that I will love and accept them when they respond to my authority and accountability. This is opposite of the Gospel. It is opposite of how God has treated me. It is opposite of how I should treat my children. Sadly, I have not always parented that way. My kiddos know this... but they are gracious! And we are learning every day how to better apply the gospel to our own hearts and our relationships.

So moms... if you haven't done so, sit down with your children and talk about how much you love them. This is an excellent time to let them know that you are seeking to be more like Christ as you parent. Even draw out this diagram and show them how you desire to be a picture of Christ. Give them the Gospel - that they are loved and affirmed because God chooses to love them, not because they are good people. Let them know that you love them because they are yours!! Tell them that you desire for them to respond to your authority because they are loved and affirmed by you. BUT they have your approval not matter what - because it is freely given, not earned. Watch as their faces light up! There is freedom in a child knowing they are loved for who they are, not what they do! I had to confess to my kiddos that I fail over and over again in this. But I pray daily for them and for myself, that I will be an example of the gospel in how I parent.