Tuesday, March 1, 2011


Today I read a blog by a woman in our church planting network (Acts29) about the things she wished she had known during her first year of being a church planter's wife. It was a great article. But one of her five points stuck out to me more than the others. And I think it is a great point for all wives: "You should be a source, not a drain."

We have the opportunity to be a source of encouragement, joy, and comfort to our husbands. But many of us more correctly fall into the category of drain. As Proverbs 15:13 says, "a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain". Some versions say faucet. You have the opportunity to be the one who can build your husband up in a way that no other person can - the one in his corner - praising his accomplishments, encouraging his growth, and praying for his weaknesses. We often speak about being able to look at a wife's countenance and know whether she is loved well by her husband or not. But I think the same is true of husbands. You should be able to tell when a man has a wife who is FOR him. She will walk with him through his trials and battles, but she will be the voice of help - the spiritual and emotional advocate he needs. He will be safe in her presence. Kendra writes: "Many other people in his life will be telling him areas he needs to improve, ways he can shepherd better and some may be critical of him. Will you be an additional burden in your husband’s life that he has to bear, or can you be the one person who is a source and replenishment to his mind, soul and body?"

How are you treating your husband? Does he long to return home at the end of each day to find a wife who supports him with words of affirmation, joy, and comfort? Does he come home to a wife who has pleasure in him - emotionally, spiritually, and physically? Not all of this rests on your shoulders - he obviously plays a role. But give him the benefit of a worthy effort of being his biggest fan. Yes, there will be days when he comes home and you are exhausted or frustrated. But in that moment you can still stop long enough to remind him that you were praying for him today and that you hope it was a good day (and make sure that you DID pray for him!). There are all sorts of sticky situations that married men and women have to wade through. But even in those moments, you can speak with respect and honor - the same as you would like to be treated. "Will you be an additional burden or... replenishment?"

Just a few thoughts spurred by a good article.

The quote and idea came from the article by Kendra Duty on the Acts29 website:

1 comment:

Sarah said...

thanks for sharing that Lauren. It's too easy to forget..