A Trip for Two to the Florida Keys

This is October.  It is starting to get chilly - which I love.  But it has me reminiscing over the warm days of summer.  Steve and I had a lovely trip to Florida this year.  So I will share a few photos and stories from a lovely week full of little surprises.  Mostly just enjoy the pictures!

This is the view from our condo.  There is a nice little bench right there on that dock.  We saw sunsets and dolphins and basked in the warm sunshine.  (Booked through VRBO - find some great deal there by searching Islamorada.)

We were right on the water - with two chairs just waiting for us!  There was kayaking and swimming by the pool, day dreaming, and lots and lots of relaxing.  

                                                      

We took a quick run down to Key West.  Some of the highlights were the Audobon House to see original John James Audobon paintings.  It is also worth your time to hike on over to Blue Heaven (www.blueheavenkw.com).  Don't miss the loaded black bean bowl.

We had lots of key lime pie on a stick!  I won't even tell you how many times we stopped to pick a couple of them up!  In Key West Visit Kermit's.  Thankfully they also sell them at almost all Circle K's in the area as well.

Best muffins in the Keys!  Try Harriette's Key Lime Muffins served warm.  Makes my mouth water just thinking about it!  Harriette's is located in Key Largo.

The very best part of the trip were the sunsets!  Every. Single. Night.  We saw the most amazing skies.  From our bench at the condo or from a restaurant on the water.  At one particular restaurant Steve and I were sitting on the dock watching the sun go down.  It was the most peaceful evening - we just sat and watched the sun go down while enjoying just being together.  I turned to Steve and said, "I wish someone would take our picture."  Five minutes later two women visiting from Great Britain said that they had just taken the most amazing picture of us and would like to show us!  They texted us this photo!  I have been so grateful to God for this tiny little blessing - and for those two very gracious ladies.  Maybe I cried... 

Perhaps the best choice of the trip was deciding to take a group sunset cruise.  We were on a budget

 

so chose a pontoon tour that held around fifty people. Renting a boat for ourselves was just too pricey.  However, when we arrived, no one showed up but us!  So instead of a packed out boat vying for the best views,  we had one captain and his little boat and the whole sunset all to ourselves!

We started out with the tour guide giving us his routine - but after a few minutes I asked him to turn off the loud music and just hang out with us.  He graciously agreed!  He answered all our questions, confirmed my eagle sightings, watched a shark with us and told us all sorts of interesting facts.  The most important of which, was that he had not found any wayward pythons!  Thank goodness!  He even gave us complete silence to watch the sun go down.  I think we were all three in awe.  It was the most perfect gift ever.  Maybe I cried again...  haha!  I couldn't have dreamed of a more relaxing way to end our week away.  The two and a half hour trip ended with a lightening show as we pulled back in to the dock!  If you are ever in the Keys, check out the tours at Cheeca Lodge (book through Islamorada Boat Tours (www.islamoradaboattours.com).  It was also a great way to see a beautiful lodge that I had been wanting to see for years... just too pricey to vacation at!

This is looking back over our shoulders as we headed back before it got to dark!

All in all it was the best night ever.  But Steve might actually put up an argument about that.  Some time you should ask him about snorkeling - with SHARKS!  He had such a great time.  If you can imagine that being a great time!  He came back grinning like a little boy - who had just seen a shark up close and personal!  I got the added bonus of Steve without a beard (cause you can't snorkel with a beard).  Haven't seen that face in years.  Looks just like the boy I married so very long ago!  (For the best snorkeling experience in the Keys, book through Bahia Honda State Park. at www.bahiahondapark.com/looe-key-snorkeling-tours.html)


There are a hundred different sunset photos and fifty different food pics.  We had great weather and great meals and even got upgraded from our original rental to a convertible Camaro!  Every little detail of this trip was a blessing from God.  We are so thankful for the good gifts he gives.

The sunset on our first night - from the chairs on the beach at our condo.

View from the tables at the Islamorada Fish Company!  Great food, too.

This was right before two dolphins swam past.

The whole week I had hoped to see a manatee - which is apparently unusual for June/July.  But we saw three!!  One was a cute little baby.  So thankful for this little blessing as well.

We ended the trip with a visit to our favorite church away from Trailhead - Core Community Church

in Homestead, FL.  Such a refreshing visit with good friends.  Then on to our conference in Miami.  It was such a sweet week full of little reminders that we have a glorious God who revels in showing off His creative beauty!  And boy, did we enjoy every minute of it!  Even better that we got to spend it together.  After twenty six years of adventures, I am still glad to run away with Steve.  Already planning when and where we can sneak off to next!  But it's gonna be hard to beat those sunsets...

“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta( a Morracan traveler from the 1300's)

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. ~Lin Yutang (Chinese writer and inventor 1895-1976)

Singleness Forum and Resources - Trailhead Church - March 2015

Last week I was privileged to lead a forum on singleness with three amazing people at Trailhead.  We had a good evening full of hard questions, thoughtful answers, and good teaching from Redeemer Presbyterian Church (New York, Tim Keller) via video.   We did not record the evening because we wanted the attenders and participants to be able to speak freely without worry of their questions being shared to a bigger audience.  I do want to thank Kristy Wakefield, Meagan Monke, and Kevin Monke for willing to be open and honest and vulnerable.  That is a hard thing to do.  They did it well - to the glory of Jesus.   Here is a brief overview with links.  (If you are short on time - I recommend that you watch the two video clips listed below for Bethany Jenkins and Wesley Hill)

This forum was planned in the middle of the Song of Solomon series at Trailhead Church.  It had to be postponed due to the snow - but we want to begin in that context.  The language of Song of Songs is that of oneness.  Oneness in a marriage relationship.  Song of Solomon 2:16 - "My beloved is mine and I am his."  Jesus offers us that oneness - that belonging - that relationship!!  In John 17:11 Jesus prays for us:  "Keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one."  This is the language of oneness, of community.  The church has historically said that the epitome of oneness is marriage, that true oneness is found only in marriage.  This is false.  The CHURCH is the perfect experience of oneness.  Jesus prays for oneness for you.  He intercedes on our behalf.  Psalm 68:4-6 "...God settles the solitary in a home."  Romans 12:5 "So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

We briefly looked at singleness in the context of the Old Testament (Old Covenant) and New Testament (New Covenant).  What does God think?  This is taken from a sermon by Jenny Salt (From the Gospel Coalition Women's Conference 2012  Listen here.)

Under the Old Covenant

• Physical blessings most important
• Genesis 2 - marriage for community just as God has community in the Trinity
• Marriage was needed to grow the nation of Israel
• Marriage was needed for protection 
• Marriage was needed for preserving inheritance.  
• No voluntary singleness is seen in Israel.

Under the New Covenant

• Spiritual blessings most important
• The Church offers community just as God has community in the Trinity
• Jesus was single - did not need marriage for community
• Church offers protection for those not in a family
• Matthew 19:11-12 - Singleness is mentioned as a possibility by Jesus
• Mark 12:18 - Jesus describes marriage as temporary and if temporary then it is of lesser importance than our standing in Christ Jesus.  Heaven is beyond the limits of earthly marriage - this life is NOT all there is.
• 1 Corinthians 7:32 - Both marriage and singleness are good.  God uses both.  They are equal - both reflecting the character of God.  One is not better than the other.  

Ms. Salt took much of her information (and gives as a resource) the book Redeeming Singleness by Barry Danylak.  I highly recommend that book as well.  It will be listed in the resource list below.

This was our schedule for the evening:

7:00-05  WELCOME

7:05 - Open with first video:  Questions to Redeemer members about singleness 

Click this link:  https://vimeo.com/album/2763100/video/87819497 

7:15 - INTRODUCTION TO THE EVENT/EXPECTATIONS -   Discuss the theology of singleness:

7:45-8:00 Play entire Bethany Jenkins video

Click this link:  https://vimeo.com/88162695   

• Our identities are not founded on what we don’t have, but on what we have been given
• Family - commitments to spiritual family
• Kiss - the church should be as affectionate as possible - covering our brokenness and shame
• Future - Look at the future with eyes of faith: “single by sight, but betrothed by faith”, “let not your hearts be troubled”
• Stanley Hauerwas - “There can be no more radical act than singleness as it is the clearest, institutional expression that one’s future is not guaranteed by the family but by the church.  The church, the harbinger of the kingdom of god, is now the source of our primary loyalty.”

8:15-8:45  Q&A

8:45-9:15  Play entire Wesley Hill video - CHASTITY (and spiritual friendships)

Click this link:  https://vimeo.com/album/2763100/video/88121005

• Seeing chastity as part of God’s POSITIVE calling - to enter fully the risen life of Christ
• Phil 3:4-11 To know Christ, be known by Christ, new identity in Christ, orient his life around Christ, bless others around him (share in Christ’s sufferings)
• 2 Cor 4
• Must not see my calling/obedience in negative terms - my primary goal is not to keep myself from doing something.  “Out of enunciation comes a positive vocation.”
• Two types of love - “You’re mine because I love you.” (Friendship) or “I love you because you are mine” (God given friendships - they are given, vowed, not-negotiable.)  Mutual commitment.  I am called to this vision.  Don’t have to be married to wait for this relationship.  Fully honorable loves - not second class love.

9:15-9:45  Q&A

RESOURCE LIST:

Singleness:

Book - Redeeming Singleness:  How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms Singleness by Barry Danylak

BEST resource:   Sermon on The Theology of Singleness from Gospel Coalition 2012 (audio only):

http://resources.thegospelcoalition.org/library/singleness-what-does-god-think

Four Books on Singleness recommended by The Gospel Coalition:

www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2012/07/27/resources-on-being-single-in-christ/

Video by David Platt “Don’t Squander Your Singleness” (17 minutes) which is a call to mission

www.patheos.com/blogs/thoughtlife/2014/04/david-platt-dont-squander-your-singleness/

Best resource about same sex attraction (and loneliness and struggling against sin for everyone):  Book - Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill

The entire S!NGLES forum put on by Redeemer Presbyterian Church, Tim Keller's church in New York City is available to stream.  It is worth your time!  http://new.livestream.com/redeemer-nyc/single

Dating Resources recommended by Desiring God:

www.desiringgod.org/all-resources/by-topic/dating-singleness

Two Highlighted:

www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-the-not-yet-married-meet-dating-to-display-jesus

• Quotes:  “While the great prize in marriage is Christ-centered intimacy, the great prize in dating is Christ-centered clarity.”
• “Focus on the harvest, and you’re bound to find a helper. Instead of making it your mission to get married, make your mission God’s global cause and the advance of the gospel where you are, and look for someone pursuing the same.”
• “Don’t let your mind marry him/her before the rest of you can.”

www.desiringgod.org/articles/10-questions-on-dating-with-matt-chandler

1. The questions:  Is My Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) Godly Enough?
2. Is There “Too Fast” In Christian Dating?
3. Has Facebook Ruined Dating?
4. Should My Church Help Me Get Married?
5. Should I Date a Godly Girl I Do Not Find Attractive?
6. Should a Boyfriend “Lead” His Girlfriend?
7. Keys to Sexual Purity in Dating?
8. When Should a Single Stop Dating?
9. Dating and Marriage for the Victims of Past Abuse
10. What Hope Does God Offer Lonely Singles?

A Story of Friendship and Kentucky Blue

It is March.  That means March Madness.  My team is doing pretty well.  I am happy.  Today I am actually wearing my Kentucky sweatshirt.  That used to just make me think of my beloved Wildcats team.  Lately, though, I think more of my friends when I where this.  There is a lovely story.  I'll share it with you.

Back in the early fall of 2014 I woke from one of those mesmerizing dreams that leave you wishing you could go back to sleep.  I dreamt that it was my birthday and all I wanted was hot fudge sundaes and time to pray with a group of eight specific women.  So I promptly emailed all eight of them and told them about my wacky, beautiful dream.  They did not all know each other and we all live in far away places, so getting together is impossible.  But I wanted each of them to know how fun my dream was and how someday in heaven we would have hot fudge sundaes together and plenty of time to pray!

Fast forward to my actual birthday.  Wouldn't you know it, but one of those women is a beautiful instigator!  And she worked her tail off to plan a way for all of those wonderful women to secretly come to my house - everyone made it except one who needed to stay home (but she was so very missed!).  The funny thing is that I was actually cleaning my garage when they showed up!  Steve had taken me out to birthday dinner and then I had asked if we could spend some time working on our colossal disaster of a garage!  (Yes, I know, I know.  Not very cool.   But "acts of service" is my love language!)  I teased him later that he could have said, "Yes, dear.  But you may want to put on a cute shirt to do so!"  He did not.  So I was scrubbing mud off of the back door while wearing my big, well worn, very unflattering Kentucky sweatshirt when my first friend walked in!

In comes  beautiful friend #1 with ice cream.  She said she wanted to give me a hot fudge sundae for my birthday.  Hooray for me!  Nothing too unusual.  Then two more beautiful friends showed up.  I should have been suspicious when I noticed my Arkansas friend wearing a UK shirt.  However,  I was so excited I didn't really process that.  Then my most cherished, lovely Kansas City friend strolled in and I could start crying even now when thinking of how elated I was to see her!  We proceeded to make our sundaes.  Then... they kept on coming!  One at a time!  My beautiful friend from Wisconsin.  Oh, the tears!  And as soon as I stopped crying in walked my lovely friend from Memphis!   More sobbing and hugging!  Then, my lovely friend from Florida waltzed in and I was a weeping fountain of tears!  Y'all - there is video.  I am not joking.  But I will refrain from sharing that... you are welcome!  It was so sweet, yet heart wrenching, to hear that my dear, dear beautiful friend from St. Louis had been
unable to join us for reasons outside her control!    (But boy did we pray for her!)

Bonus - they were all wearing Kentucky blue!!

Oh everyone... have you ever been overwhelmed with how loved you are?  I am so rarely overwhelmed (except maybe by fear!).  But they did it.  I am told that I ate a hot fudge sundae - but I truly don't remember it.  And it was the sweetest time of prayer that I have EVER experienced.  Sadly, at the end of the evening - well, in the early morning, everyone had to go back to their homes and families.  It was truly like a dream.

What a story of friendship and sacrifice.  It was hard to leave families and responsibilities and drive for hours (one friend with a broken tailbone even! and one friend hopping several different flights)!  But I am grateful.  They are such a picture of the sacrificial love of Jesus to me.  Every day.  They love me well by praying and pointing me back to Jesus.  Makes me think of the verse in Hebrews 10:26  "Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works."

It is difficult to write a post like this - for I have so, so many good friends.  I cannot tell you where I would be without my Trailhead Church friends and family.  They love me day in and day out and I love them right back!  Truly.  And my husband and parents and sisters and my children!  But these ladies made a dream come true.  Literally.  :)  And I am thankful.

Welcome 2015

Hard to believe that I haven't written anything since 2014... oh, so long ago. But here we are in March already. January and February (and Stevie-palooza) were lovely. But the clock keeps ticking onward.

And in those ticking moments, I have been thinking about community. This calls for a Wendell Berry quote, don't you think?

"A community is the mental and spiritual condition of knowing that the place is shared, and that the people who share the place define and limit the possibilities of each other's lives. It is the knowledge that people have of each other, their concern for each other, their trust in each other, the freedom with which they come and go among themselves."  ~Wendell Berry, The Long-Legged House (1969)

Such a sweet place to be in. "And so I came to belong to this place..."

A Simpler Christmas This Year

I don't know about you, but I find Christmas time to be the most stressful time of my year.  So this year - after a somewhat crazy year - I decided to make it simpler.  Less stressful.  Which may explain why you did not get a Christmas card from the Mizels!  We hope that you don't mind.  Know that we love you dearly and are so very grateful for all of our friends and family.

This year, two things helped.  First, I decided to stick to the four gift rule:  something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.  Can I just say that I LOVE this idea?  Our kiddos are old enough that they know what they want, offered suggestions for what they need and knew that my typical gloves and hats and socks would be the something to wear.  That left only books to figure out and books are my favorite gift to give.  Tada!  I am finished.  No stress and, more importantly,  no potential for disappointment (like that time I got the WRONG Nerf gun for Isaac and he had to act happy).

Gifts are fun to give and receive, but we can put too much emphasis on them. Christmas puts so much pressure on us because it has become such a commercial for all the things we don't have and should want.  We do well to remind ourselves that this is actually a time to reflect on God the Father's gift to us - the birth and eventual sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus.  I am grateful for chances to remind myself and my family that the world has stolen a beautiful time to reflect upon the coming of our Substitute.  Jesus came to redeem and restore us to God.  We are grateful for the gift of Jesus, God's only Son, and for the sacrifice that was made on our behalf.

The second thing we did was that we postponed sending out Christmas cards.  I feel a little selfish.  But, honestly, I am happy to have family time when the kids are home from school.  I can write out cards and send notes when everyone is back to school and work.  Please don't be disappointed!  We will send you a New Years card wishing you a very happy 2015.  2014 was filled with hard things and wonderful things.  And now we celebrate a new year that God has blessed us to see.  We pray that in 2015 you see more clearly the love that God has for you and that you know Him more deeply.

From Psalm 86
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your steadfast love toward me...

And Psalm 98
Oh sing to the Lord a new song,
for he has done marvelous things!
His right hand and his holy arm
have worked salvation for him.
The Lord has made known his salvation;
he has revealed his righteousness in the sight of the nations.
He has remembered his steadfast love and faithfulness...

Merry Christmas!

Thoughts From My Dad About the Gospel

My dad asked me to post this.  He wrote out some thoughts about the Gospel.  You should read it.  Twice.

Not of works, lest you should boast.  Ephesians 2:8-9   "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

Works says:
     I - ask Jesus into my heart
     I - make a decision for Christ
     I - surrender my life to Christ
     I - commit my life to Christ
     I - etc.

Works asks,  "Did I do it right?"

Faith says:
     JESUS - died and rose again in my place.
     JESUS - shed his blood as a sacrifice for me
     JESUS - took my sins in His body on the tree
     JESUS - paid my sin debt
     JESUS - took my sin and gave me His righteousness
     JESUS - washed me clean
     JESUS - made me whiter than snow
     JESUS - delivered me from guilt and the penalty of sin

Faith says, "I'm sure that Jesus did it right."

The Gospel does not call on the sinner to do something, but rather it calls on us to believe something.

Notes from Session #3 (Saturday) At Trailhead Church Fall 2014 Women's Retreat: Be Thou My Vision

Notes from the last session of our Trailhead Church Fall 2014 Women's Retreat. (For Session #1 - click here.)

Be Thou My Vision - Filling Our Vision With Jesus As We Love Each Other Well

[Before I type out the content of my notes, I want to let you know that our team of women's ministry leaders spent much time in prayer over the subjects we would be speaking on.  This session was particularly difficult to narrow down.  There are so many different directions a message on loving each other well can go.  I know that this is the direction that God wanted us to go.  It is not meant to condemn or discourage - but to point us to Jesus who loves us well!!  Remember, condemnation says you are not good enough, not ever.  Conviction is when the Holy Spirit puts pressure on one specific point that he wants you to address.  Don't be condemned!  Look to Jesus!  He does not condemn.]

I am so grateful and excited that this section follows our Friday night and Saturday morning sessions.

 Loving each other well begins by being in the Word and being in prayer.  We cannot discuss what God has for us in community without looking at Jesus.  How did He love those around him?  How does that inform how we are to love those around us?

Think about your closes relationships.  Give me some words to describe those relationships.  "Encouraging.  Fun.  Faithful.  Life-giving."
No one said what could also be the truth:  "Shallow.  Condemning.  Hard."

Before we look closely at how we interact, let's look at Jesus.  Read Philippians 2:1-8.

So, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Jesus is living out perfect community here.  Self-sacrificing.  Humility.  No rivalry.  No conceit.  Sacrificed to the point of death.  FOR US.

Now turn to John 13:4-17.  We see Jesus' self-sacrificing played out on a very personal level.

Jesus... rose from supper.  He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist.  Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.  He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, do you wash my feet?"  Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand."

Steve [lead Pastor] spent two weeks talking about our foot washing God.  You can listen to those messages here.  Jesus humbly served in a beautiful precursor to His ultimate sacrifice which was on the cross.

Turn in your Bible to 1 Corinthians 13.  I know!  We all panic - the marriage passage!  But it is NOT the marriage chapter.  This is the CHURCH chapter.  Paul is telling believers how to behave in the church.  In community.  In relationship.  Let's read it:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Did you see Christ in verses 1-3?  We see Christ in verses 4-7.  Let's specifically see him in light of the story of washing the disciple's feet.  We are going to compile John 13 and 1 Corinthians 13.  What would Jesus have said to those men as he served them?  What would he have thought?  Let's look at what Jesus did NOT say as he washed the feet of the men he had spent three years serving, loving and teaching.  (And since we are a room full of women, we are going to use "she" instead of "he".)

"Love is patient and kind."  > Jesus did NOT say:  "Boy, I am so tired of washing her feet!"
"Love does not envy or boast."  >  Jesus did NOT say:  "I wish I had her sandles so my feet wouldn't be so dirty."  Or, "Good thing she has me to wash her feet!"
"It is not arrogant or rude."  > Jesus did NOT say:  "Wow!  Thank goodness I don't have her life!  She has the most disgusting feet!"
"It does not insist on its own way."  >  Jesus did NOT say:  "I sure wish she would walk the way I tell her so that her feet wouldn't get so dirty."
"It does not rejoice at wrong doing."  >  Jesus did NOT say:  "She is SO muddy.  Now everyone will see!"

But you know what?  Jesus didn't care about the disciples outward appearance.  He didn't care about how clean their feet were.  He cared about their hearts!  What does he NOT say about our hearts?

"Love is patient and kind."  >  Jesus does NOT say:  "I am so tired of forgiving this woman!  She's a mess!"
"Love does not envy or boast."  >  Jesus does NOT say:  "She would really be so much better off if she would let me clean her heart."
"It is not arrogant or rude."  >  Jesus does NOT say:  "She is the worst!  She has the worst heart I have ever seen.  How ugly."
"It does not insist on its own way."  >  Jesus does NOT say:  "Stop.  Sinning.  Now."
"It is not irritable or resentful."  >  Jesus does NOT say:  "Sinful, sinful, sinful.  I am so tired of your wicked heart."
"It does not rejoice at wrongdoing."  >  Jesus does NOT say:  "I knew it!  I knew your heart would mess up like that!  I told you so!"

Now let's look at how we respond to each other through the lens of 1 Corinthians 13.  But we cannot skip over verses 1-3.  Without love we are defeating our goals of true community.  If we serve and teach and help but show no love, we are offensive!  Destructive!  Dangerous!  Things are going to get pointed now...

Love is patient.  >  This is the hardest one!  We must learn to wait - not have our own time frame for our friends.  You may want a friend to change or grow.  But only the Spirit prompts change!  Can you patiently, lovingly wait and serve as your friend stumbles and struggles with sin.  Jesus is patiently, kindly waiting.  We must be slow to speak, even in those time.  Is the Spirit prompting me to speak?  Or is the Spirit working and asking you to be patiently silent?  Do not assume that it is your right or responsibility to point out a friend's sin.  Wait patiently.  Pray and wait patiently some more.  If the Spirit prompts, speak.  If the Spirit doesn't, be quiet.  Love is patient.

Love is kind.  >  Can you give a kind word when you feel mistreated?  You will be mistreated by a friend.  It is part of life.  Can we be kind even in this?  Not in our own strength.  And not without love.  And most definitely, not without prayer for yourself and your friend!

Here I want to take a second and talk about two things.  Often before we are kind to someone we make them earn our approval or our kindness.  This is the opposite of how Jesus loves us.  We are given love and acceptance freely.  We need to learn to give kindness freely - even to the one who hasn't earned it.  Kindness is a gift we give, not a payment for good behavior toward us.  And dignity!!  A friend posted a quote from a Huffington Post article:  "Jesus' love, even if it came with hard words, somehow always seemed and felt like love.  People were seen.  They were heard.  They were touched.  They were left with more dignity than when they started."  Ladies!  That article was written by someone who isn't even a Christ follower!  Do we reflect this Christ-like quality?  Do we offer dignity along with kindness?

Love does not envy or boast.  >  Oh ladies!  We DO envy and we do boast.  Some of us envy that we can't afford to eat all organic.  Some of us boast that we are married.  Some of us envy those who have children.  Some of us envy those who don't have children!  The list goes on and on.  All we can boast about is Christ.  And envy is so, so destructive.  When we do this, we mentally or even physically divide ourselves into groups.  Those who have and those who don't have.  Those who do and those who don't do any number of things.  We as women have divided ourselves into many splinter groups - married, unmarried, have kids, don't homeschool, eat healthy, love Twinkies.  Once we envy and boast we divide.  Once we divide we are unable to love and serve the body of Christ well.  I was us to glory in our differences.  Serve each other well.  Care for that person who has nothing in common with you.  Heaven will not have divisions.  Why do we have them now?  Spend time with people who are different from you.  Move outside of your comfort friends and get to know that person who has different circumstances but the same Savior as you.

Love is not arrogant or rude.  >  The definition of arrogant is "having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.  Friends, some of us need to practice the 5 question rule!  You cannot say anything at all about yourself until you have asked 5 questions about the person you are speaking to.  We find it too easy to talk about ourselves, our abilities and importance.  The definition of rude is "offensively impolite, ill mannered."  I think that speaks for itself!  Jesus was never ill mannered.  Was his message offensive?  Yes!  The Gospel, the Truth, is offensive to some.  But Jesus has called us to be lacking in rudeness.  Think you might be rude?  Ask your friends.  They'll tell you if you ask in humility.

Love does not insist on its own way.  >  Are we building kingdoms of people we have recruited to our ways?  Or are we seeking to point others to Jesus only?  Never say:  Be like me!  I don't care how healthy or organized or educated you are!  We are redeemed not to achieve earthly perfection, but for the glory of God!
[For your benefit here - I had to confess that just one paragraph up I had asked people to follow a rule I had.  The 5 question rule.  We laughed that I was saying don't ask people to be like me but was also telling people to do something I have done.  My apologies.]

Love is not irritable or resentful.   >  Have you ever had someone resent you?  Or show you how irritated they are with you?  How painful!  Jesus calls us to lay aside that frustration and speak words of lovingkindness.  We should not give ourselves the freedom to be short, or even sarcastic!  Be careful with your sarcasm.  Sarcasm is defined as "the use of irony to mock or convey contempt."  Yuck!  When Steve and I first got married we fell into the habit of shooting sarcastic barbs at one another.  All in good fun, right?  But soon my mom had to point out that we were continually cutting each other down in the name of humor.  And we weren't very pleasant to be around, much less seen as two people who actually cared for one another in a loving and kind way.  Ouch!  But it was so true.  Be careful how you use your sarcasm and just where you point that mockery and contempt.

Love does not rejoice in wrong doing.  >  Oooh!  We do not often see someone who rejoices when a woman sins.  That isn't our typical issue.  What do we do?  We pull out the sledgehammer of truth!  Ladies, let me caution you.  If you see someone in sin - unless the Spirit has given you the right to speak, unless the Spirit is calling you to speak, you better keep your mouth closed!  And if you cannot speak that truth without speaking softly, gently, in love, then you have to right to speak at all.  Keep quiet.  If you cannot speak without getting angry, keep quiet.  Notice, it says but "rejoices in the truth"!  Joy.  Truth spoken with love, in gentleness, brings rejoicing.  Do your words bring rejoicing?

And finally - LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS.  LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS.  LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS.  Our hope is in Jesus, not our own words or actions or deeds.  Love does endure all things - by keeping our eyes on Jesus!

I want to close with a few verses out of a book my mom gave me when I got married.  So long ago!  It is from IF, by Amy Carmichael [another blog about that book here].  The verses are poetry.  She uses the phrase "then I know nothing of Calvary love" which is used as a contrast for our actions.  Obviously we do know about Calvary love and we are recipients of that grace.  So just listen,  keeping our eyes on Jesus for his grace and mercy and continued growth.

Love is patient:

"If I have not the patience of my Saviour with souls who grow slowly; if I know little of travail (a sharp and painful thing) till Christ be fully formed in them, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

Love is kind:

"If I have not compassion on my fellow-servant even s my Lord had pity on me, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Love does not rejoice at wrong doing:

"If I can easily discuss the shortcomings and the sins of any:  if I can speak in a casual way even of a child's misdoings, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Love does not insist on its own way:

"If I can hurt another by speaking faithfully without much preparation of spirit, and without hurting myself far more than I hurt that other, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Love is not arrogant:

"If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Let's refocus.  I am not speaking condemnation.  In Christ Jesus we are not condemned.  But we are called to fight the good fight - to struggle together.  We want to be those strong pillars from Psalm 144.  We are called to be women of the Word, to be women of prayer and to be women who love well.

Psalm 144:12  "May our daughters by like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace."