Singleness Forum and Resources - Trailhead Church - March 2015

Last week I was privileged to lead a forum on singleness with three amazing people at Trailhead.  We had a good evening full of hard questions, thoughtful answers, and good teaching from Redeemer Presbyterian Church (New York, Tim Keller) via video.   We did not record the evening because we wanted the attenders and participants to be able to speak freely without worry of their questions being shared to a bigger audience.  I do want to thank Kristy Wakefield, Meagan Monke, and Kevin Monke for willing to be open and honest and vulnerable.  That is a hard thing to do.  They did it well - to the glory of Jesus.   Here is a brief overview with links.  (If you are short on time - I recommend that you watch the two video clips listed below for Bethany Jenkins and Wesley Hill)

This forum was planned in the middle of the Song of Solomon series at Trailhead Church.  It had to be postponed due to the snow - but we want to begin in that context.  The language of Song of Songs is that of oneness.  Oneness in a marriage relationship.  Song of Solomon 2:16 - "My beloved is mine and I am his."  Jesus offers us that oneness - that belonging - that relationship!!  In John 17:11 Jesus prays for us:  "Keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one."  This is the language of oneness, of community.  The church has historically said that the epitome of oneness is marriage, that true oneness is found only in marriage.  This is false.  The CHURCH is the perfect experience of oneness.  Jesus prays for oneness for you.  He intercedes on our behalf.  Psalm 68:4-6 "...God settles the solitary in a home."  Romans 12:5 "So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

We briefly looked at singleness in the context of the Old Testament (Old Covenant) and New Testament (New Covenant).  What does God think?  This is taken from a sermon by Jenny Salt (From the Gospel Coalition Women's Conference 2012  Listen here.)

Under the Old Covenant

• Physical blessings most important
• Genesis 2 - marriage for community just as God has community in the Trinity
• Marriage was needed to grow the nation of Israel
• Marriage was needed for protection 
• Marriage was needed for preserving inheritance.  
• No voluntary singleness is seen in Israel.

Under the New Covenant

• Spiritual blessings most important
• The Church offers community just as God has community in the Trinity
• Jesus was single - did not need marriage for community
• Church offers protection for those not in a family
• Matthew 19:11-12 - Singleness is mentioned as a possibility by Jesus
• Mark 12:18 - Jesus describes marriage as temporary and if temporary then it is of lesser importance than our standing in Christ Jesus.  Heaven is beyond the limits of earthly marriage - this life is NOT all there is.
• 1 Corinthians 7:32 - Both marriage and singleness are good.  God uses both.  They are equal - both reflecting the character of God.  One is not better than the other.  

Ms. Salt took much of her information (and gives as a resource) the book Redeeming Singleness by Barry Danylak.  I highly recommend that book as well.  It will be listed in the resource list below.

This was our schedule for the evening:

7:00-05  WELCOME

7:05 - Open with first video:  Questions to Redeemer members about singleness 

Click this link:  https://vimeo.com/album/2763100/video/87819497 

7:15 - INTRODUCTION TO THE EVENT/EXPECTATIONS -   Discuss the theology of singleness:

7:45-8:00 Play entire Bethany Jenkins video

Click this link:  https://vimeo.com/88162695   

• Our identities are not founded on what we don’t have, but on what we have been given
• Family - commitments to spiritual family
• Kiss - the church should be as affectionate as possible - covering our brokenness and shame
• Future - Look at the future with eyes of faith: “single by sight, but betrothed by faith”, “let not your hearts be troubled”
• Stanley Hauerwas - “There can be no more radical act than singleness as it is the clearest, institutional expression that one’s future is not guaranteed by the family but by the church.  The church, the harbinger of the kingdom of god, is now the source of our primary loyalty.”

8:15-8:45  Q&A

8:45-9:15  Play entire Wesley Hill video - CHASTITY (and spiritual friendships)

Click this link:  https://vimeo.com/album/2763100/video/88121005

• Seeing chastity as part of God’s POSITIVE calling - to enter fully the risen life of Christ
• Phil 3:4-11 To know Christ, be known by Christ, new identity in Christ, orient his life around Christ, bless others around him (share in Christ’s sufferings)
• 2 Cor 4
• Must not see my calling/obedience in negative terms - my primary goal is not to keep myself from doing something.  “Out of enunciation comes a positive vocation.”
• Two types of love - “You’re mine because I love you.” (Friendship) or “I love you because you are mine” (God given friendships - they are given, vowed, not-negotiable.)  Mutual commitment.  I am called to this vision.  Don’t have to be married to wait for this relationship.  Fully honorable loves - not second class love.

9:15-9:45  Q&A

RESOURCE LIST:

Singleness:

Book - Redeeming Singleness:  How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms Singleness by Barry Danylak

BEST resource:   Sermon on The Theology of Singleness from Gospel Coalition 2012 (audio only):

http://resources.thegospelcoalition.org/library/singleness-what-does-god-think

Four Books on Singleness recommended by The Gospel Coalition:

www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2012/07/27/resources-on-being-single-in-christ/

Video by David Platt “Don’t Squander Your Singleness” (17 minutes) which is a call to mission

www.patheos.com/blogs/thoughtlife/2014/04/david-platt-dont-squander-your-singleness/

Best resource about same sex attraction (and loneliness and struggling against sin for everyone):  Book - Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill

The entire S!NGLES forum put on by Redeemer Presbyterian Church, Tim Keller's church in New York City is available to stream.  It is worth your time!  http://new.livestream.com/redeemer-nyc/single

Dating Resources recommended by Desiring God:

www.desiringgod.org/all-resources/by-topic/dating-singleness

Two Highlighted:

www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-the-not-yet-married-meet-dating-to-display-jesus

• Quotes:  “While the great prize in marriage is Christ-centered intimacy, the great prize in dating is Christ-centered clarity.”
• “Focus on the harvest, and you’re bound to find a helper. Instead of making it your mission to get married, make your mission God’s global cause and the advance of the gospel where you are, and look for someone pursuing the same.”
• “Don’t let your mind marry him/her before the rest of you can.”

www.desiringgod.org/articles/10-questions-on-dating-with-matt-chandler

1. The questions:  Is My Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) Godly Enough?
2. Is There “Too Fast” In Christian Dating?
3. Has Facebook Ruined Dating?
4. Should My Church Help Me Get Married?
5. Should I Date a Godly Girl I Do Not Find Attractive?
6. Should a Boyfriend “Lead” His Girlfriend?
7. Keys to Sexual Purity in Dating?
8. When Should a Single Stop Dating?
9. Dating and Marriage for the Victims of Past Abuse
10. What Hope Does God Offer Lonely Singles?

A Simpler Christmas This Year

I don't know about you, but I find Christmas time to be the most stressful time of my year.  So this year - after a somewhat crazy year - I decided to make it simpler.  Less stressful.  Which may explain why you did not get a Christmas card from the Mizels!  We hope that you don't mind.  Know that we love you dearly and are so very grateful for all of our friends and family.

This year, two things helped.  First, I decided to stick to the four gift rule:  something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.  Can I just say that I LOVE this idea?  Our kiddos are old enough that they know what they want, offered suggestions for what they need and knew that my typical gloves and hats and socks would be the something to wear.  That left only books to figure out and books are my favorite gift to give.  Tada!  I am finished.  No stress and, more importantly,  no potential for disappointment (like that time I got the WRONG Nerf gun for Isaac and he had to act happy).

Gifts are fun to give and receive, but we can put too much emphasis on them. Christmas puts so much pressure on us because it has become such a commercial for all the things we don't have and should want.  We do well to remind ourselves that this is actually a time to reflect on God the Father's gift to us - the birth and eventual sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus.  I am grateful for chances to remind myself and my family that the world has stolen a beautiful time to reflect upon the coming of our Substitute.  Jesus came to redeem and restore us to God.  We are grateful for the gift of Jesus, God's only Son, and for the sacrifice that was made on our behalf.

The second thing we did was that we postponed sending out Christmas cards.  I feel a little selfish.  But, honestly, I am happy to have family time when the kids are home from school.  I can write out cards and send notes when everyone is back to school and work.  Please don't be disappointed!  We will send you a New Years card wishing you a very happy 2015.  2014 was filled with hard things and wonderful things.  And now we celebrate a new year that God has blessed us to see.  We pray that in 2015 you see more clearly the love that God has for you and that you know Him more deeply.

From Psalm 86
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your steadfast love toward me...

And Psalm 98
Oh sing to the Lord a new song,
for he has done marvelous things!
His right hand and his holy arm
have worked salvation for him.
The Lord has made known his salvation;
he has revealed his righteousness in the sight of the nations.
He has remembered his steadfast love and faithfulness...

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Trees and Ebenezers

I love words.  Not like Steve loves them in that he uses them well.  I have a fondness for certain words.  Fidelity. Membership. Ebenezer.  There's a word you don't hear every day!  The dictionary defines ebenezer as "a commemoration of divine assistance".  It has its origins in Hebrew, meaning stone of help.  Samuel used the word in reference to the "stone which he set up in commemoration of God's help to the Israelites in their victory over the Philistines at Mizpah (1 Samuel 7:12)".  (Also from the entry in the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary).

We don't see ebenezers around much these days.  But if you look, you can find them.  They may look like Samuel's:  I have a stone in our back yard to commemorate the amazing, miraculous way God blessed us with this house.  But they may look completely different than Samuel's:  Our Christmas Tree.  Our Christmas tree is my favorite part of the holiday.  It is a collection of ebenezers for our family.  We have so many ornaments.  Each one has a very specific story or remembrance for us.  Each year we get to look back over all of the ways God has blessed us.  It is a beautiful activity.  It is also the sole reason I enjoy taking down our tree.  As I wrap each ornament I again think back on what God has done and thank Him - for He is good and gracious and glorious and great.  And I can see it right there on our tree.

So I want to share a few of our ebenezers with you!  This SIUE ornament is one of the most exciting.  When I see it I instantly go back to the day when we received an envelope in the mail informing us that Victoria had been awarded a full scholarship for college.  Room and board for four full years!  I get giddy just thinking of that day.  All the emotions and excitement flood back.  God truly provided and blessed us (and Victoria) beyond belief!

We have ebenezers to remember those that are no longer with us.  We do
think of these people more often than Christmas - but it is a beautiful thing to hang an ornament and tell a story or two about people we have loved and lost.

I cannot put up a tree without a flood of feelings of gratitude for family.  Specifically, this tree ornament
 brings back childhood memories.  My mom made this blue Christmas tree.  The year was 1977.  I see it and am forever grateful for parents who love me and love the Lord and who are still such an absolute blessing to me and Steve and the kiddos.

Our favorite ebenezers to put on the tree (and they may actually cause arguments among us for who gets to put which one on the tree!) are a set of simple cardboard "Adornaments" that are pictures depicting the "I AM's" of Scripture.  Jesus says "I am the Door", "I am the Good Shepherd", "I am the "Light of the World", "I am the King of Kings", "I am the Living Water", "I am the Bread of Life", and so on.  What a glorious reminder of His goodness, provision, grace and mercy to us.

This snowflake is a gift from Steve's days at the Journey.  What a blessing that church was to us.  We learned so much of the grace of God while we were there and God used the leaders of that church to change our lives forever.  We put this ebenezer up with thoughts of love and fondness and gratitude.

The 80's Precious Moments ornament was a gift from my parents for the first year of marriage for Steve and I.  1989.  Oh so long ago.  But I will be eternally grateful for such a wonderful man.  I hang that ebenezer with joy each year!!

There are ebenezers for places we have lived (California, Kentucky, Missouri and Illinois).  We cherish each one of those states and homes.  There are ebenezers for adventures that God gaves us - Ireland, Rock City, Land Between the Lakes, Vail, Phoenix and the list goes on and on.  Each a sweet remembrance of "divine assistance".  My ornaments are back in their box until later this year.  But I loved taking each one out and rejoicing in the faithfulness of our good God.  We commemorate Him.

Mother's Day and Birdwatching

Mother's Day is today...  My mom is such a blessing to me.  I love her.  So let's celebrate some of the joys she brings to us.

Mom shows others that she loves them by serving them.  She bakes or cleans or shops or serves in a zillion different ways.  You can bet if it is someone's birthday she has cooked a feast!  Or if someone has a special event, she has helped you shop for just the right outfit.  Or if you need help with homework or if you aren't feeling well... she's the one my sisters and I call.  She's always there.  (And for the record, Dad is just the same!  Need a car repaired or a sump pump fixed or do you have a gardening question?  Call him!)   I know that her desire is to serve others just as Christ Jesus came to serve those around him.  She is truly a picture of the love of Christ to me.

Some people know that Mom loves to read.  But not everyone knows that she is actually a very talented writer as well.  Her letters are the best.  I still have the ones she wrote to me in college.  When my oldest daughter Victoria was away in Louisville last summer she would eagerly wait for a letter from her grandmother... then she would read them aloud to her roommates.  They were stories of daily life  and of family and of the faithfulness of God.  I know Victoria will cherish those forever.

Today I have been thinking about Mom's love of birds.  This is something I know that I get from her.  She and Dad have always enjoyed nature and seeing the things that others don't notice.  Growing up, we would take long drives through our part of Kentucky.  All three of us girls would be in the backseat -  on the lookout for anything!  Birds or deer or the perfect oak tree or the field full of horses or an old barn hidden in the overgrowth.   So today I saw an indigo bunting at my bird feeder!  It is one of my favorites.  I immediately called her knowing that she would celebrate with me.  It was fun.  And it is one of the many things I am grateful to her (and my dad) for.  Even though I don't live on five acres in Kentucky, I can still enjoy a little wildlife in the postage-stamp-sized yard that I have here.  It was good.

Thanks Mom!

A Summer Review - stories and all!

Well, Summer is over and Fall is well underway. I have finally been able to breathe enough to think of all that God has done during the summer months. A while ago I talked a little about what I was expecting but now I want to share a few details of the summer. As always, God has blown me away with his goodness to me and my family. I feel His favor (and that is not favor above others, but his kindness and grace and mercy).

June saw Steve and I visiting Vail, Colorado for the Acts29 Retreat and Rocky Mountain National Park. What did God show me? It was actually life changing for me. I am the chief worrier. Not as in the best, but the very worst. My default mode is to fail to trust God and to try and figure things out on my own. God once again had to show me that He alone is in control. I love the

mountains but they do not love me. My blood pressure tends to climb with the altitude. After talking to the doctor (and being advised to find the nearest medical facility for "just in case") I

settled in to our "retreat" and began the worry spiral. But each time I worried and prayed about what to do, what course of action to take, God very clearly pointed out that my life was His - high blood pressure and all. (Mind you, I was taking medical advice... so this wasn't blindly ignoring serious signs!) God was quite simply, though, asking if I trusted Him. Repeatedly. And I do. But I wasn't acting like it. My fears had become all consuming... and they were ruining my vacation. But God in His goodness and graciousness, ripped away my fear and showed me the reality that He controls all things - and He alone chooses when I die and how I live. All He asks is for me to trust Him. We went on to have a beautiful, but sedated visit to one of the most beautiful places Steve and I have seen in a while - at 13,000 feet God's grace shone over me in the snow covered mountains. And I am grateful.

July brought a couple of family trips. I love spending Fourth of July with my parents in

Kentucky. They are such a blessing to me! Their heritage is visible in their children and grandchildren. Plus, Kentucky is a place that refreshes my soul! Later in the month we got to visit Chicago with the kiddos. It was the hottest three days of the summer. But we sweated it out together and had a blast. The Bean was a favorite and Isaac was happy to cross it off of his life's list of accomplishments! The next item on the list? A segway tour!

August was all about school. Esther started her junior year and Isaac began his 7th grade year. It also brought a first. Victoria moved out. God granted her a full scholarship to Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville - yes, that's right, it's in our town. It was the last place she looked at. But it became the place that she wanted to attend the most. Then God graciously allowed her to attend for free. So we moved her into a dorm and left her there! Talk about hard... I cried like a baby. As I was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Steve

I began talking to a woman who was going to leave her son and drive back to Texas! Texas - can you imagine that distance!?! She,

who was not crying, looked at me, who was obviously a basket case, and asked how far my drive home was. All I could say was... about two streets that way!! Not one of my prouder moments. But, in another sense, it was. Victoria has worked so hard to get to college and she is loving every minute of it! God has blessed her with a great community of friends to walk through life with AND I still get to see her on Sundays. God is good. I am so proud of all three of them!

September brought another trip for Steve and I. I feel very fortunate that, for now, I have not had to work. We have fun traveling together. However, leaving my kiddos has been one of the hardest things for me as a mom, a worrying mom. God continues to ask me if I trust Him. I do - and I pray that He helps me when I don't. Friends have lovingly stepped up to stay with Esther and Isaac as we have been gone. Mind you, they are two of the most self-sufficient kids on the face of the earth! But, they have been surrounded in our absence by people who love them - and they know that. Isaac is notorious for saying that it took a whole church of people to take care of him while I was away. And he was beaming as he said it. I am truly thankful!

Now, Summer is over and it is October. I am another year older... and still loving being in my 40's. I am even more grateful to God for the blessing of belonging to a place. As Wendell Berry would say, I know exactly where I am and I don't want to be any place else.

Remembering Four Days in 2008

"Oh give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the poeples. Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; Talk of all His wondrous works."

This May will mark three years since we have been in Edwardsville. Actually, three years at the church - two full years living in Edwardsville comes on August 11. Wow. Have I ever told you the story of how God got us here? Lots of you know it, but it is always good to sing praises to God for what He has done. David did this in the Psalms... listing all the mighty works of God. This story doesn't belong in the same list as the parting of the Red Sea or the crossing of the Jordan River - but to my family it is just as monumental! So here is my remembering of it...

Steve was the family pastor at The Journey in St. Louis. We lived in a house that we loved and our three children were all attending public school in St. Louis county. A church in Edwardsville, Illinois had been meeting for less than a year and was closing. A Journey elder proposed the idea of making the church a campus of the Journey. One particular family, who attended the church for the first time on the last day of its existence, was pretty adamant about needing a gospel centered church in the Metro East area. They, along with others, begged for the elders to invest in the church. I cannot tell you how God has used this family - the Guilds - in our lives. Right from the very beginning!! So this elder, Jonathan, asked Steve to consider becoming a campus pastor. Of course Steve  said NO. Jonathan expressed disappointment and asked Steve to pray that God would raise up the right man to lead this church. He said the now famous words: "Just pray about it for four days."  On May 22, 2008 we actually started praying about it...

We drove to Edwardsville for the first time on May 23, 2008. The town of Edwardsville is fairly unique - a historic downtown mainstreet but with both older cafes and new development, a city sponsored farmer's market, bike trails throughout the community, etc. We loved it instantly. Being a small town Kentucky girl, this was like a dream come true.

After exploring the town we began to seek advice from trusted friends and family. God particularly used Steve Miller (another Journey elder) to speak into this. It is a blessing to have Godly men know your husband and his strengths and weaknesses. We will forever be grateful to Steve for being willing to lay out his thoughts clearly and honestly.  Those words have impacted our lives in a dramatic way.

Next, the big deal of speaking to the kiddos. It is a difficult thing to present life changing choices to your children. They were 16, 14, and 9 at the time. They cannot be responsible to make your decisions, but they can sure influence your choices - and it was important to us that they be on board. Miracle of miracles - the girls instantly, without hesitation said "Dad, this is what you should do." This was miraculous. Their hearts were won over by a group of people who they had not even met. We would be asking them to leave the only house they had ever known and for the girls to change schools while in high school. This was a big deal. One of the things I love about Steve is that God has given him gifts that He uses to equip the church - that He would use to help rebuild a group of wounded people in a new town. It was so overwhelming to me to see our children recognize this - they knew that God had prepared Steve just for this job. And they were quick to point that out. My heart was over-joyed... we were called as a family to walk with Steve as he lead. I will forever be grateful for this moment on the deck of the house that we loved so much - my family was willing to leave it all to be where God wanted us... what more could a wife and mother want. Our God gives undeserved gifts! "How wondrous are His works!"

After a positive conversation with my parents (which God graciously gave me - we didn't need their "yes" but He knew what my heart needed!) we were set to say yes. God had clearly and very concisely shown us His will for our family. In FOUR days, no less.  We proceeded with lots of excitement.

Then came the day of actually meeting the people from the church. I am an introvert - and do not relish being in front of people. I famously stared at the floor the whole way down the aisle on my own wedding day! And of course, this meeting, in a YMCA room with mirrors everywhere was another entrance I will never forget. We walked in to a meeting that was already underway. Jonathan was talking to the group and introduced us. He presented Steve as the new campus pastor and laid out the plan to have a Journey Metro East campus. The response was so affirming. We met so many amazing, welcoming people - some who we knew from the Journey previously. I will forever remember Betsy Goodman (now Van Keulen) making eye contact with me - reassuring me that I would survive! Afterward I was immediately surrounded by women who were so excited about what God was doing and those women are still in my life celebrating what God is doing here! These people have become my family - they have changed my life in so many ways and I will forever be grateful and remember that day as one of the sweetest, most exciting days. "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together!"

Looking back I can see the part that Steve Miller, Jonathan Macintosh and the Guild family played in all of this. I have never had to doubt the hand of God directing us to this new place. It is such a joy to know that you are right where God wants you to be. I am grateful. It has been good, as Wendell Berry says, to come to belong to a place. And we do. It hasn't always been easy... but it has always been good.

I remember - and I am thankful and rejoice. "Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Who can utter the mighty acts of the Lord? Or can delcare all His praise?"

Turning 42

Today I turned 42. There was a time in my life when turning 32 was depressing, much less 42!. But I must admit, since turning 40 I have learned to love my age.

In my twenties life was crazy. Steve and I got married very young and the process of having my rough edges rubbed off was painful. Then we had three children before turning thirty. That changed life to say the least! Good changes, but God can really use your kids to push on things in you that need to be transformed to be more like Him. In our thirties Steve and I grew three kids and followed where God was leading. Not easy things to do.

Now, in my forties, life seems so different. I have more freedom - but still have three kids who are home and for the most part want to be with me. I have an amazing husband whom I love with my whole heart. We still have some of those rough edges remaining, but they fit together a little better and are not so painful. Steve and I could not be more different. But we have learned to work together and to glory in each other's differences. It is a good place to be. And it is better than when I was twenty or even thirty. I look back at that woman who struggled and fought and matured. I don't envy her. Now we have children who are growing into amazing adults who love the Lord and are a blessing to us. We have been married longer than we haven't been married (if that makes sense!). The woman I am now is nothing like what I imagined I would be. But this woman is more dependent on Christ than herself (though not every day), more thankful, a little more confident, a lot more community minded, and more in love with her husband than she could have thought possible. Yes, we have hard days... but life at 42 is good. I love my life. I thank God for His graciousness and mercy to our family.

The Stories My Table Tells

I must admit that I have an ugly dining room table. It was given to us by an older woman in the church we were attending who was moving. It is from the 50's. It looked beautiful for a while. But we are a busy family who apparently knows how to damage furniture. We scuffed the top and left water marks. Soon enough the wood absorbed moisture and the surface became bubbled. It is wretched looking.

But, I cannot tell you how much I love this table. When I think of all the meals we have had here. There have been romantic, candle-lit, Valentine dinners for five. There have been meals with people we did not really know. There have been large, laughter filled Miller family gatherings and Mizel-from-California celebrations. We have cried with friends at this table. We have had angry conversations at this table. It has seen joy and sorrow. It has seen love and even a little hate. It has seen newly married couples and on-the-way-to-divorce couples. It has seen lots of teenager parties and groups of boys eating home-made french fries and milkshakes for birthdays. It has heard dreams of future love and anguish of dashed hopes. It has heard prayers of thankfulness to God and cries to Him for mercy. It has seen some come to a new faith in Christ.

It has been a tent. It has been a homework desk. It has been a work bench. It has been a nurse's station. It has been a pastor's conference table. It has been a painter's easel. It has been a gardening bench.

This well used table has seen some of the best food on the planet. My mother has served her famous food from it. (Italian Cream Cake or Red Velvet Cake or home-made salsa or Fonya Potatoes). We have eaten freshly picked corn from the garden or just-delivered-from-Kentucky burgoo and mutton. Mmmmmmm. It has held some of my very own food disasters, as well. But each dish has been served with love.

The purpose of my table's life is community. In a sense, it is at the heart of our home. We have lived and loved and mourned and celebrated with family and friends and neighbors on its ugly surface. It has been used by our family and community for over ten years. We have bought new chairs and new table cloths. But somehow, I just can't see parting with it and all of it's beautiful memories.

Looking back I can see that this is handed down from my parents. Their table has very much served the same purpose and I am grateful for all the times that I have sat there and been loved and fed. I also saw my mother's mother do the same. My grandmother had a huge table in her kitchen that served many meals to many people. I look forward to some day sitting at the tables of my children. Sharing meals together has been a gift passed down from generation to generation. Sharing meals is sharing life.

Here's to hoping that your table has its own beautiful stories to share. Enjoy!