Dating Poem

I came across this video click of a woman reciting a poem on the Resurgence website this week. I have forwarded it to a bunch of people and all the feedback has been amazing. So click on this link for one pretty cool and insightful poem about dating as a woman after God's own heart. She makes some great points about what we should be looking for and who we should be!

http://theresurgence.com/2011/04/06/a-poem-for-all-single-people-pass-it-on

Let me know what you think!
lauren

Love and Friendship

This week has had a running theme: love. Not romantic love, although I love romance, but the love of the Father and love of friends - community, again.

I am SO very grateful for my friends. I have found true community here in this little town and in this church. I am surrounded by women who make me feel safe, loved, and cared for. Many women go through life without this - and that is not the plan God has for true community in your life. To have a group of women who continually want more than you can give or who make life unsafe for you can be debilitating. Run from those women. But run to women who will speak truth to you, who will push you to be what God created you to be, who are not afraid to love you well. Don't be a user, though, seek to return the favor. Be authentic with your wants, needs, and struggles. This is good for your soul.

After a conversation with a friend this week, I am reminded of how God loves us. It is not because of who we are and what we do - but because HE CHOOSES TO LOVE US. Period. It has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with Him. We see this played out in our relationships as well. I have three kiddos. They are good kids - but they are also bad kids (don't tell them that I said this!). I do not love them because of their actions. I love them because they are mine. I choose to love them. And hopefully, they choose to love me in the same way. My actions as a mother and a wife are not always deserving of love. But my family loves me despite those actions. We choose to love. Then we pray for God to increase that love. And we seek to have a home that encourages/enhances/invites that love to grow.

This is, hopefully, true of my deepest friendships. I love these women, not because of who they are (although that is probably how we became friends - she or I did something that invited friendship), but because they are the community God has given and I CHOOSE to love them. Unconditionally. This is something God does in my heart. He cultivates community in us. This love is not based on me and my friends, but on the love of God. And I am grateful for that. That takes the pressure off of me to perform (to keep my friendships) and them to work to earn my love.

Now there is still tension here. I have God's love for these women (and they have it for me), but I don't have this same love for everyone. It is a group of women who have given me freedom to be me... no strings attached. And they call out something in me that I know God wants called out. It is a community that He has miraculously placed me in. IF you do not have this, pray for God to send it. This will require vulnerability on your part - you have to seek like minded women that call out God in you. But when you find it, you will know. This is not affinity for me - it is community. Are you looking for affinity - people in your current life stage? That may not be the right place for you to look. Maybe you need to find people in the same spiritual life stage as you. Start there! Start spiritual conversations and see who you connect with. I am grateful that I did.

Why Study the Word?

The following is the first post for our Fight Club for Women group at Trailhead Church. It will be posted on the City for Trailhead Church later today. But I would love feedback if you have any.

Let me start off with two quotes from Wayne Grudem: "Theology changes life and conduct." "What you believe in your heart changes how you live your life." We must believe this. We must know that what we believe about the Word of God - and what we believe from the Word of God - changes our thoughts, relationships, life, and actions. And God has called us to study His Word. Wendy Alsup writes: "Wise, practical daily living is preceded by a knowledge of God that leads to fear, awe, and reverence of him, his power, and his purposes. Theology is the root, foundation, and framework for practical living that reflects wisdom and understanding."

Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children." This verse should strike fear in our hearts! It definitely does mine. But does it motivate you to dig into the Word? We are called to be watchful for wrong thinking, wrong doctrine all throughout Scripture. But the only way to be aware of incorrect teaching is to know the Truth!! We cannot be equipped if we do not study. So many times we sit and wait to be taught. But God's Word is a gift to each one of us, and we are called to study it for ourselves. Paul admonishes Timothy to study for himself. 2 Timothy 2:15 "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth." Again to quote Wendy Alsop: "The Bible is sufficient. It is enough. Remember what Paul said: 'All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man (or woman!) of God may be competent, equipped for every good work' (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Wow! It's amazing to think that believers can be completely equipped for everything to which God has called them through Scripture alone."

We see the need for right living. We know right living comes from right understanding of Scripture. John speaks of Jesus as the Word (see John 1:1-18). We want to be women who know the Word. We want to be women who value the Word. But if we don't open our Bibles, we won't know either the God the Father, His Son or His Scriptures.

How well do you know the Word? How well can you articulate what you believe about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit? Let's start here:

Spend time reading and discussing the following verses:

Proverbs 2:1-5 "My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

Deuteronomy 29:29 "the secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."

John 20:30-31 "Now Jesus did many other sign in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name."

Psalm 1:1-3 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper." (NKJV)

Psalm 119:9-16 "How can a young man (woman!) cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are You, O Lord! Teach me Your statutes. With my lips I have declared all the judgments of Your mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate on Your precepts, and contemplate Your ways. I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget your word." (NKJV) [Actually, if you have time, read the entire Psalm 119!]

Consider memorizing some portion of Psalm 119:9-16. Maybe just as simple as verse 11: "Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You." Or, verse 16: I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget your word."

Spend time this week praying that God would give you a love for the Scripture. Ask for a desire to know the Word - He surely desires to be known by you. So you will be asking Him to bless you with something you already know He wants to give!!

Ephesians 1:16-20 "I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the god of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places." (NKJV)

QUESTIONS FOR MEDITATION OR DISCUSSION: [FYI - We will repeat these two questions at the end of each post. They will help you to process what you are learning in your group or alone as you study for your fight club.]

How does understanding this truth (God's call to know the Word) affect my view of God or Jesus?

How does understanding this truth affect my life (relationships, beliefs, philosophies, behavior)?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Just a little reminiscing for St Patrick's Day.

In 2008 Steve and I were able to take a dream trip. We went to Northern Ireland with Steve's family - to sightsee and to visit family there. We stayed in the city of Belfast for a week. People say that when you walk the streets of a city you get to know it and love it in such a way that it becomes your own. This was so true for us. Every day we walked for hours - from one end of Belfast to the other. It won our hearts. What fun to explore and retrace steps that his grandfather had walked growing up. We hope to go back some day and take the kids - so they too can feel a connection to a new place - a place that holds history for them.

So - on St. Patricks Day, I want to share a few of my favorite places in Belfast, Northern Ireland.

On top of Cave Hill overlooking Belfast

The Botanical Gardens

University of Belfast - and the monument where Steve's relative's name is engraved.

Thanksgiving monument


Belfast Castle

We found a favorite bookstore (and some new friends!) and our favorite grocery. There was the best place to get a Guiness and my favorite bench in the city) Someday we will get to return. Until then, St Patrick's Day is a fun day to dream of going back.

More Thoughts on Pain

As I have been processing the ideas that have been discussed around here at Trailhead Church over the last few weeks, I keep coming back to the problem of pain. A specific thought has been bouncing around in my head for a while now. It is a mixture of words spoken at our women's retreat and also words from one of Steve's messages in Hebrews.

Steve was teaching about Jesus as God. God is outside of time. He is present in every point of Creation all the time, yet unkept by time. He is not confined. At our women's retreat Kristy spoke about not being alone in our times of pain. That our God hurts when we hurt. He is with us, fully present, when we are hurt. Putting those two thoughts together... Jesus is there when our world is the most devastating. In my worst moments - of abuse, or loneliness, or trauma - Jesus is there and knows my pain intimately. He is present with me in my suffering. Yet, since he is the "ever-present One", He is, at the same time, completely present with me when all is made right - even though I am not there yet. He is present when Shaloam is restored - when all things are made new. He sees the hurt but He also sees the restoration. What a glorious thought!

Scripture speaks of Jesus currently being seated beside God the Father. That, too, is outside of time. I can look forward to when I will no longer be constrained by time. I don't understand everything about heaven and eternity, but I do know I will spend it with Jesus, who suffered more for me than I will ever know. He sacrificed Himself to pay the debt of sin I owed. He is my Substitute. Because of that fact, I have been forgiven and will be eternally free from all the pain faced here on earth and I, too, will see all things made right, all things new.

God knows your pain

Well, the month of February seemed to revolve around the theme of pain. Not just mine - but more generally pain that we as women often struggle through. Trailhead Church had another women's retreat a week ago. A few women began praying in January about what topic God would have us look at - hoping that we would get clear direction. Boy, did we get it. And then some!

My friend Kristy works in a treatment center for women dealing with eating disorders which often times stem from past hurts. She has been learning from God how to deal with trauma and evil and pain. This is no easy thing as I know she will attest to. Some days you see God's hand of redemption, but most days you see the brokenness of this world very clearly and profoundly. I love to hear her teach and knew this was a subject that any women's retreat could benefit from. So we began to pray that God would give Kristy wisdom and discernment about what exactly she should convey.

At the same time, but in an unrelated situation, a good friend of mine, began to feel that God was calling her to be involved in the women's retreat. She shared with me her personal story of sexual assault and the brokenness that it has caused in her life. Yet she rejoiced in the grace that God has shown her and the redemption that she has experienced. We began to pray about what it would look like for her to share her story (which would be a true miracle since she had only shared with a few people ever - it would be a very vulnerable, difficult thing to do). We began praying about this in January as well.

Then came the straw that broke the camel's back, as they say. I came across the promo for a new book from Re:Lit (Mark Driscoll) about sexual assault. The statistics were staggering. One in four women will suffer assault in her lifetime. How could we as the church not talk about this? And how hard would this be? We began to get a little scared! It was very clear what God was going to have us talk about: Jesus and suffering and grace and redemption.

God did confirm and strengthen my friend to share her story of hurt, redemption, and grace. It was hard to listen to. But it was one of the most amazing presentations of the gospel I have EVER heard in my whole life. And Kristy spoke the Word!! Women were given a safe place to process their pain and to be challenged to take their pain to Jesus and to know that He will meet them there. The gospel was proclaimed. Women were pointed to the true gospel, not their "self-made, self religions". Much could be shared of God miraculously leading women to conversations with just the right person. God was preparing hearts to be vulnerable and other hearts to be full of care and love and the desire to listen.

What a good God we have. I am grateful to Him. More thoughts and stories to share - this is only the beginning. From the book Rid of my Disgrace: "We believe that the only thing that gets to the depth of the devastation of sexual assault" (or other pain) "is God's one-way, unconditional love expressed through, and founded on the person and redemptive work of Jesus Christ. And in response to sin and its effects, God's radical grace and redemption are at the center of responding to the pain..."

A Story of Blessing

Wow! What a week. I still cannot wrap my brain around God's goodness this week. I do know how blessed I am - a never ending list of good things God gives. Tuesday was a beautiful morning. Steve let me sleep in, and then he brought me roses and a diet Dr. Pepper! Those of you who know me know that I LOVE both of those. We enjoyed a quiet morning together and headed out for a quick lunch.

Before we hopped into the car, I grabbed the mail out of the mailbox and found a large envelope that read: Scholarship Details Enclosed. I stopped in my tracks. We had gotten those envelopes before... from Webster University and from Southeast Missouri State. But this one was different. Victoria had been invited to interview for the Meridian Scholarship at Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville. Originally she had wanted to go to school very far away from home. Anywhere but a college in her own backyard. But God had other plans. Many friends of ours began to campaign for SIUE. Sarah Guild and Jordyn Gehret began to talk to Victoria about what God could do through her at SIUE and what God could do IN her as well. Steve and I didn't have to say a word! We were so glad when she began to like the idea of what we think is a GREAT college with GREAT opportunities for Victoria.

So, we began to pray that God would honor our beautiful, super smart daughter with a full ride at SIUE. Our friends joined us in praying for this blessing - the Meridian Scholarship. 600 students wrote essays. 120 students were invited to interview. 20 would be chosen. We spent a day at SIUE with all the families of the 120 students (36 of whom were valedictorians and salutatorians). Victoria was full of enthusiasm and Steve and I were nervous wrecks! But she shined. Then we waited. We all had a rough week waiting. Patience is difficult! Especially when you have over $65,000 on the line. But we all prayed for God to glorify His name! We prayed for patience, and dependence on Him, and joy no matter the outcome. We always strive to remember that God is Good - period. Good in the blessings and good in the hard things. Graciously God met our need! He provided a way for Victoria to go to a great school and KNOW without a doubt that this is where He wants her to be.

What more could a mom want? My daughter was given a blessing - a chance to go through four years of college without debt! But more importantly, she feels the delight of a God who loves her and she knows the joy of underserved gifts - gifts that cause us to praise Him! Victoria has seen God work in her heart - He brought her desire in line with His. When we worried about money and a zillion other things He provided the way. We kept repeating over the last few weeks that God is God and He does what He pleases. Join us this week as we rejoice that this gift to Victoria is what He pleases!!

All in all this was a perfect day. A restful morning, a miraculous blessing from God, a tear filled lunch date with a husband who loves me, excitement of watching Victoria open her letter, watching Esther hug Victoria while she rejoiced in God (and her gift of prophecy!!) and it even ended with a Kentucky basketball win - which I got to see from beginning to end. Nice!